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  • One Blind Mouse

Looking after your Ego #1... What is your Ego?

Okay... your ego. What is it? Where is it? What does it do and what does it eat?

Disclaimer: You know what a pinch of salt is? Well... fucking take one before reading this.


What is your ego?

Egos tend to be relatively small (a lot smaller than a human brain, for instance) and fragile entities. They can be any colour (even new and as yet unseen colours), and any shape. They are, however, like chickens in that they are immensely GREEDY..!

Some psychologists (primarily some bloke called Freud) suggest that your ego is a part of your personality. This is not true. Egos are of alien origin and they are a relatively benign parasite.

Once a human brain is infected with an ego, and this usually occurs within the few couple years of life... it can be extremely difficult if not impossible to remove.

There is no mechanism to control your ego... the human brain has no resident 'super' anything that can impact of your ego. The very presence of anything that could counter an ego's immense will would ultimately lead to an 'inner war' the like of which the human brain could simply not survive... rendering the human likely dead and the ego loose upon the world. Thus... in simple terms, the universe has foregone any mechanism to counter an ego on the basis of Health and Safety.

In a worst case scenario... your ego can be hurt... crushed and damaged beyond belief but it is, at the end of the day, an indestructible and vehemently aggressive life force. This, however, is only true whilst 'in residence' in a human brain.

Should the host die, an ego can survive roughly three days outside of a body and whilst this may seem a relatively short period, it is ample time for the ego to move onto pastures new, in the form of a new-born or young human brain.

Egos will eat all compliments and praise (however feint) when paid to their host... as well as lettuce. They are insatiable and, whilst it makes no sense to describe their intake in terms of their mass (zero grams), they can eat a LOT..!

The vast majority of egos are what might loosely be referrred to a 'mono' in that they exist and feed... and solely on external 'feed'. More rarely, egos may evolve into a more malignant form in which they have an inherent ability to make the host a more self-complemementary host and thereby creating an endless source of sustenance at source. The rarity of this type of ego has increased significantly more recently in human history and correlates highly with the advent of the internet. These 'poly' varieties are extremely dangerous, if only because of the ugly and innappropriate 'aura' they shadow their hosts within.

In this series of blogs... we will be looking at the aspects of your ego which you may hope to manage... as well as nurturing it to become a well rounded and beneficial parasite.

Your ego will not negotiate. It is, though, more than likely to respond to various stimuli and will watch any behavioural modifications it's human makes like a hawk!

For now? Just remain aware that your ego is NOT your friend. It will let you die before it takes damage and it WILL allow its human to suffer substantial insults and humiliation.

Stay tuned for #2... coming soon.


Are you kidding?


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